I have changed.

Literally.

It is pretty ironic to say this since I was one of those people who particularly didn’t like change. Especially when it comes to my comfort zone. I was a shy girl and a bit antisocial so the day my father announced all of us had to move because he got a job transfer, I was like

It was on 2006 and I was supposed to take UPSR examination that year. I was scared, had no ability to make friends (I blamed this on my introvert-ness) and everyone looked so intimidating

How everyone looks like

so being the coward I am,

I ran.

On the first day of school.

Nice.

I didn’t go to the class and wondered around my new school until lunch time. I even bumped on the headmistress (I saw her make a speech during assembly) and she asked me what am I doing since lunch break hasn’t started yet but somehow I managed to escape with my level 1 ninja skills. My memory is a bit fuzzy since this happened years ahem plus ago but I do cry a lot and hours later I ended up being home lol.

That’s how severe my introverted-ness was.

But gradually I learn how to interact with people while being confident with my skin and get the hell out of my comfort zone. The journey was not easy. It takes time and my friends now probably wouldn’t believe me if I told them this story. I guess in a way studying abroad in Japan changed me.

We are so accustomed to the comforts of “I cannot”, “I do not want to” and “it is too difficult” that we forget to realize when we stop doing things for ourselves and expect others to dance around us, we are not achieving greatness. We have made ourselves weak.
Pandora Poikilos, Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out

Of course at first, I had a pretty rough period. I was 19 dude, and it was my first time to ride an aeroplane and moreover going to another foreign country who I only knew from anime. The food unsurprisingly tasted bad, the weather was too cold to my liking and despite having some basic Japanese I barely understand the natives’ conversation. Thankfully, with the help of the teachers and friends I managed to survive and during this whole period, I experienced and learned a lot of things that brought out the independence side of me that I never thought I had. Plus, knowing people from different country, culture, and language makes you realise that the world is bigger than you think it is and there is so much more out there and bam! your whole perspective of viewing world became more open.

And it’s not like I become a totally different person, some part of me is still not comfortable because of the prospects of meeting new people but some part of me is becoming better in speaking because inevitably I realise that how can I still continue being an antisocial me and just sitting at home relaxing watching movies and stuff while some part of the ummah is crying tears of blood.

Credit: 1. 2

Rasya
Author

Not so smart INTJ. Love books. 3rd Year in Japanese Language and Linguistic. English is not her forte.

34 Comments

  1. omg i know that feel girl. I’m an introvert too but everytime I get to a new place and was left alone (boarding school, university etc), I would always be the first one to break the silence ‘cos I DESPERATELY need a friend. Being alone is way more scarier than talking to a person first hahaha

    • Rasya

      Omg. High five!

      But my introvert-ness has toned down a lot *according to my friends that I met here*

  2. waaa, i’m so proud of you 🙂
    and so glad despite your introvert and shyness kononnya lol, we are still friends until now hehe

    ganbatte

  3. Mai pun dulu seorang introvert yg kelu bila kena ke depan, alhamdulillah, meningkat usia sedikit demi sedikit jadi makin berani. Lainnya blog ni sekarang, cantik!

  4. I always read your writing till the last sentence.

    Your life experience really inspired me in a positive way!

    It must be tough living in foreign country at such a young age but those experience teach u alot,, i can feel it from your writing

  5. Aww sama laaa time sekolah rendah dulu. Cikgu2 selalu je tanya, "kamu ni bisu ke?" sebab pendiam sangat T.T

  6. Thanks. Communication is definitely important especially when you want to go for a job interview. Boleh kirim tapi takut layu di tengah jalan.hahaha

  7. Even I myself couldn't believe I managed to get here. Fate is a strange thing I guess.
    About the shopping, its okay. There's always online shopping to help us, introverts.

  8. It's good to hear that travelling to Japan has made you become more independent and 'extrovert' a lil bit. Good for you. Communication is very important after all kan. You tried hard to improve yourself in getting better. That's what we should do at all time. Hehe.. Oh! Nak kirim cherry blossoms allll the way from Japan boleh? Hehehe good night there! 😉

  9. Wow, as an introvert myself, I'm amazed that you managed to bring yourself to Japan! Kudos to you!
    I wish I could have even a gist of your courage but I find myself unable to go even out of my house (unless forced, or dragged by my mom) and I've been working at this one town for almost two years now yet I haven't gone at the local market for once lol TT_TT The world is so scary :/ Keep on fighting hun! 🙂

  10. hopefully all things will be well nevertheless 🙂
    introvert, shy or outgoing, it's one's choice, as long as you are happy <3

  11. When I was in primary school I was brave, I like taking on new challenges. Now I become rather timid *~*; but I try to change ^^

    I hope I could go to Japan soon!

  12. Contrary to me, i love talking a lot to people that makes me comfortable to have a conversation with & i think i should practice more silentness sometimes. Nice to know a little bout you ✌

  13. Hi Nurul Rasya, I came across your blog and I enjoyed reading your amazing stories. Interested to collaborate? Email me at nurul.aini@my.zalora.com I couldn't find your email so I am leaving a comment to u. Hope to hear soon. Thanks! Ps: this is NOT a spam yah haha 🙂

  14. That is what people called 'growing up'.
    People change. We change.
    But from the fundamental perspective, we are still as same as before.
    If changing is good for you, than you're good.

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