When I First Entered College

The future seems bleak. Watching my senpai tachi (read: seniors) in their final year makes me start thinking about my own future. Some of them are returning home and some are staying here to apply for Master’s program. And then there’s me who still contemplating whether to go back home or continue my study from degree to Master. The future remains unknown.
Wed, 15/10/7

I wrote these precisely a year ago,  and at that time I was torn between furthering my study and BFG (back for good). But it’s funny that even though a considerable time has passed for me to think about my future path, I am still clueless and unsure on what should I do after graduating college. To take the next big step towards the so-called adult world is so terrifying and pretty much out of reach that I wonder how others manage to do it and survive.


When I first entered college, I thought my future path will be all set. I’ll graduate with glorious all A’s grades, sweet high paying dream jobs lined up, several powerful connections build up here and there, and extraordinary interpersonal skills where people just couldn’t help but fall in love with me. Ahem.

But yeah, it didn’t happen as planned.

I’m a man full of plans. For example, when we got a new assignment writing a report that needs to be submitted 3 months later, I’m already planning my draft out, found all the books for future reading at the library, search related pdf articles at CiNii and by the next day, everything will be photocopied and printed. So you can see that, going with the flow and playing ‘just wait and see’ wouldn’t work for me. Everything needs to be done as planned. I’ll go crazy if I couldn’t picture my future in my mind but then I remember that,

all of this sounds so familiar

When I was still in my teens, anxiously waiting for SPM results, I couldn’t see myself as a college student living far away from home but somehow I manage to do so. Graduating out of high school, going to college, get a job, married, kids – all of these will come naturally. In the end,

The future is never just one choice. It’s a thousand. And they never stop. You will choose your future every day of your life. And should you wake up one day to find that you regret the choice you made the day before, then make a new one. Don’t worry about whether you might be wrong someday. Worry about whether you’re right now. Tomorrow can wait.
Cora Carmack, All Played Out

Credit: 1



  1. I can really relate to you~ As of now, I just finished my studies and lost. I don’t know what to do next and it seems that the “adult world” is terrifying. But don’t worry, we will one day find our way. Good luck!

  2. wowwww nice blog you’ve got here 🙂
    I like the template (because it’s black and white and quite organized)
    Love your travel entries too, so I followed you here. Have a good blogging days ya 🙂

  3. Hi rasya 🙂 Insyallah hope everything going well for you and your future. Nak buat keputusan mengenai future sure need to think a lot, but whatever it is, believe yourself and your decision. May Allah ease your journey dear <3

  4. Just followed here 🙂 Omg you study major in Japanese! All the best in your future undertakings. Everything gonna be so well :))

  5. This is exactly what I've been worrying about since last year. Ever since I found out my dad is sick, I quit my job and just stayed at home around the clock. I don't know where my life is heading. I hope He will ease everything for you no matter what you choose. Anyway Thanks for dropping by, returning the favor ? sincerely your new follower 🙂

  6. Fighting fot your future! Seriously, I like this quote 'Graduating out of high school, going to college, get a job, married, kids – all of these will come naturally. In the end'
    May Allah bless you always dear

  7. The quotes are damn true!
    I always look back thinking about all the misses i have made. There is no way we can press the replay button.
    For now on, do not simply say no to every chances i got, do not fear the adventure. Hopefully i will gain much more interesting choices!
    FYI, i have changed my blog address to http://atheeradayana.com Please follow me at this page and thank you for your visit. Have a nice day ya!

  8. I love the quote!

    Indeed, the future is a scary place, but no matter how it will happen, let's just trust His plan as He knows what's the best for us. 🙂

  9. ALLAH is the best planner.
    and all the best rasya.

    future is a really interesting word, we don't know what happen in future and it's quite exciting. whatever may come, stay positive and life to the fullest 🙂 happy new year! 😀

  10. I feel the same way about the future but oh well, I would definitely continue my study since, there's something between me and my father.. So guess for now, my future is all set..

  11. Agree with the last quote, future is like we are standing at thousands road intersections that may connect with each others. T_T Sometimes, we try to follow Road A, but suddenly a strong wind come and push us to Road B. The interesting part is, the end of Road B may be the same or similar to Road A 😀


  12. You know what rasya, despite your blog taking longer time for me to load, but i will always wait coz your writing always give me positive vibes.

    Adulthood is indeed terrifying..i barely survived..my future is still blurry…tsskk tsskk

    The qoute about future is very great and positive ones. Worry not about tomorrow, worry today..


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